The Department · what we make
Everything in the Survival Guide is free and stays free. These are the things you can buy when you want the whole system on paper, on the fridge, or in your ears.
§ 01 — Free, forever
The 4pm Protocol, School Admin Triage, the Snack Tariff, bedtime, the Launchpad, the Sick Day.
The 07:40 problem and the kit list. Work the morning backwards and stop forgetting the PE kit.
Say the thing you cannot say at the school gate. Moderated, no names, no advice.
§ 02 — The kits
The starter pack. Print it once, stick it up, stop rebuilding your week from scratch every Sunday.
Every protocol in one file, with the scripts and the household audit. The whole Department, on paper.
Thirty days of three-minute resets, written and read aloud. One a day. No streak-shaming if you miss one.
No ads. No affiliate links. Nothing here is sponsored, and nothing is advice. Kits are digital unless it says otherwise; prices include VAT.
§ 03 — For employers
Licence the guides, the calculators and a branded Friday dispatch for your parent employees. From £600 a year.
Census · open to all households
The Department claims parenting is 4% magic and 96% logistics. The public has filed a dispute. You get one vote.
One vote per household. The Department's figure carries 100 votes, so your filing moves the meter by about one percent.
Filing recorded
100 filings. The Department's figure holds 100 of them.
Your filing: 50% logistics
While you're here
The next incident report, by email. No advice, no journey, no “you've got this”.
Free. One click to leave. No selling, no sharing.
Filed
The next report arrives by email. Until then, the archive is open, and the meter is still moving.
