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      <title>I Have Read This Book 412 Times</title>
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      <pubDate>Wed, 28 Oct 2026 09:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
      <description>I know it better than my wedding vows. I did not choose this.</description>
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      <title>The Birthday Party Industrial Complex</title>
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      <pubDate>Sat, 24 Oct 2026 09:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
      <description>At some point a child&#x27;s birthday became a three-week logistics operation with a risk assessment.</description>
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      <title>I Have Become a Search Engine for Objects</title>
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      <pubDate>Tue, 20 Oct 2026 09:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
      <description>Query: where is my [thing]. Results: 400,000,000, ranked by my will to live.</description>
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      <title>The 4pm Witching Hour: A Field Study</title>
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      <pubDate>Thu, 15 Oct 2026 09:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
      <description>Between 16:00 and 18:00 my children are replaced by feral raccoons in their clothing.</description>
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      <title>The Snack Economy Has Collapsed</title>
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      <pubDate>Sun, 11 Oct 2026 09:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
      <description>At 15:42 my son declared he was starving. He was holding a cracker.</description>
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      <title>Nobody Told Me About the Admin</title>
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      <pubDate>Tue, 06 Oct 2026 09:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
      <description>I was braced for the sleeplessness. Nobody mentioned the forms.</description>
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